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3 Lessons from Spending 3 Days with 50 Bestselling Authors

Alex & Books ·

I recently spent 3 days with 50 bestselling authors (many of whom have sold 1M+ books)!

Authors such as:

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and dozens more incredible authors!

How did I get invited to join this group?

Well, that's a story for another day...

For now, I want to share 3 networking and relationship tips I’ve learned from this experience:

1) The Cure For Imposter Syndrome is I’m Interested Syndrome

If you ever find yourself in a room where you feel like an imposter, here’s a helpful tip to remember:

You can’t be an impostor and be interested at the same time.

If you’re talking about something you haven’t done, then you’re an impostor.

But if you’re asking someone questions about something they’ve done, you’re interested.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves, so if you ask people genuine and insightful questions, they’ll likely be happy to answer them.

For instance, this event was packed with incredible authors who sold millions of books. If I tried to fit in, I would’ve been an impostor.

Instead, I tried to be a student and ask them interesting questions, such as:

  • Which marketing tactics worked best for your book?
  • How do you land speaking gigs and how do you raise your rates?
  • Why did you go with a hybrid publisher over a traditional publisher?

So, although this group was filled with several bestselling authors, I was able to manage my impostor syndrome and make the most out of my time with them by focusing on being interested, instead of interesting.

2) Come Prepared With Questions

At any event or conference, there will usually be a list of speakers attending, and sometimes a list or group chat of guests who will be attending.

To minimize the chances of an awkward encounter and maximize your time at the event, spend some time researching each speaker.

For instance, I created a document with the names of all the authors attending and then added a brief 1-3 sentence bio about each of them (you can keep this doc in your Notes tab on your phone so you can quickly pull it up if you need it during the event).

I then selected a few authors I specifically wanted to chat with, and came up with a couple of questions for each of them. That way, if I found myself sitting next to a specific author, I would be able to ask them an insightful question instead of trying to come up with a good question on the spot.

It also helps to have 2-3 emergency questions written down, so if you ever find yourself in an awkward silence or your brain just shuts off, you can ask these questions to keep the conversation going.

Here were my emergency questions for this event:

  • Is this your first time at this event?
  • Are you currently working on a new book?
  • This event is amazing–have there been any key insights for you or interesting people you’ve met so far?

Granted, these questions aren’t deep or genius, but they are ice-breakers that will break the silence and give you the opportunity to dive into a richer and deeper conversation.

3) Turn Off Introvert Mode

Being at an event with a ton of new people is both exciting and overwhelming.

It’s exciting because you have a chance to connect with people who can turn into new friendships or business relationships.

But it can also be overwhelming and draining to talk to a new person every few minutes–especially if you’re an introvert.

But if you find yourself in a room with people you will probably never come across again (like a James Clear or Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche), you need to turn off introvert mode.

For that one event, you need to think of yourself as an extrovert.

If you have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to talk to one of your heroes, don’t let social anxiety stand in your way.

As one author told me, “I’m going to talk to as many people as possible but then go back into my cave to recover for the next few weeks to recover.”

As a fellow serious introvert (I work remotely and spend basically all day by myself), here are a few tips if you find your social battery being drained at an event:

  • Step outside for a few minutes to catch your breath
  • Find a room no one is using to just sit down and relax
  • Take extra trips to the bathroom to have a few moments of peace and quiet to yourself
  • Grab some extra food and sit at an empty table to fuel up both physically and mentally

Lastly, be proud of yourself for leaving your comfort zone and trying something new.

Chances are being a temporary extrovert will pay off.

For instance, by the end of the event, I had several authors who offered for me to come on their podcast when my book is released, a few who asked to join my author dinners, and one author who even said he’d personally mentor me.

None of this would have been possible had I not gotten out of my comfort zone and spent time and energy connecting with people.

So at your next event, be an extrovert for one day. You can go back to being an introvert for the next six days after that.

You can view more pics from the event here.

PS: Looking for an awesome book to read?

Grab a list of my 100 favorite books for FREE here! 👈

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